Ephesians 5:22-33 The text for our meditation on God’s Holy Word is the epistle lesson chosen for this day. Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, and especially you, David and Becky, I bring you grace mercy and peace from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
Of all of the blessings and tender mercies that our gracious heavenly Father bestows upon us to enrich our earthly lives, surely the blessing of marriage comes first, for from it comes life itself.
When God formed Adam from the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of life, the first blessing that he bestowed upon him was the blessing of a helper fit for him. When Adam saw the woman God had created for him, Adam said: This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. God grant that you always feel that way about the other!
This one-flesh relationship between one man and one woman was God’s institution of marriage, the very estate that you are entering into today.
Marriage is God’s good gift. He is the one who says what marriage is. No matter what our godless culture says about marriage—no matter what laws are enacted by the state—marriage itself can never be re-interpreted or re-defined because it is not man’s invention but God’s gift: one man—one woman—united together in a one-flesh relationship that is intended by God to last a life-time.
And just as the gift itself has never changed, neither have the purposes of marriage for which God created it: first of all, the gift of children.
The fruitfulness of marriage in the pro-creation of children is an enduring sign that we are made in the image of God for the love between a man and a woman brings forth life, reflecting the love of God that created life and continues to give life.
Along with the gift of children, marriage blesses us with a companion and helper for life’s journey and the only God-pleasing way to enjoy God’s good gift of sexuality.
But there is another purpose for marriage besides these gifts that benefit the husband and wife—there is a purpose for marriage that is intended by God to serve the world.
Christian marriage was designed by God so that it would bear witness to the world as to the relationship that exists between Christ and the church. Your marriage is not intended by God to serve only your earthly needs-- but is intended to serve the spiritual needs of those around you as they see in your marriage something of the love and respect that exists between Christ and the church.
Each of you has a part to play in that sacred vocation. The Apostle Paul says that the husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church and the wife is to respect her husband as the church submits to Christ and in these ways each of you are to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. The point is this:
This life that you are called to lead as husband and wife (and how each of you should behave towards the other) does not come first of all from your relationship with one another-- but from your relationship with Christ. He is the only one who can help you to fulfill the high calling that you are entering into today.
David you are called to love Becky like Christ loves the church, putting her first, laying down your very life for her if need be—but always sacrificing yourself to meet her needs.
The relationship between Christ and the church begins with the love of Christ and so your marriage relationship begins when you love Becky in a Christ-like way.
Becky you are called to respect David as the Church honors Christ and to submit to him in everything.
This is a very different model for marriage than what the world offers. TV shows and women’s magazines and relationship “experts” tell us ad nauseumthat marriage is 50-50, that we have to insist on getting what we want—that we have to make sure that our needs are met.
Holy Scripture says that we are to look to Jesus Christ, see the love and sacrifice he has for us, and then live out that same love and sacrifice when it comes to our relationship with our spouse.
Obviously, this kind of married life that always puts the other first is a particular blessing for the two people who are married to one another. But it has a higher calling as well that extends far beyond just those two people.
As Christian couples live out these kinds of lives in their marriage they put flesh and bone on the relationship that exists between Christ and the Church and they bear witness to those around them as to the love that God has for the world.
And just as that love that God has for the world is enduring, so the marital life of one husband and one wife is to endure.
Divorce is not permitted except where adultery has already broken that one flesh relationship and so the promises you make today to God and one another in the presence of this congregation and in God’s sight are intended to last a life time.
We make very few promises to do something for the rest of our life but you are making one today.
Your ability to keep that promise will not be found in the strength of your commitment or in the fervency of your love for one another. It will be found in the love that Christ has for you.
He is the one who will speak to your heart through his Word. He is the One who will forgive your sins in Holy Absolution. He is the One who will feed you with his own life in Holy Communion to strengthen your life of love.
Receiving these gifts of Christ’s love, your own love for one another will be renewed and strengthened throughout your married life as you forgive one another as Christ forgave you.
Beginning each day in God’s grace will help you let the past be past when it comes to sorrows and failures that most surely come when two people live out a life together in marriage.
As your relationship with Christ is strengthened and sustained through God’s gifts of Word and sacrament, so will your marriage grow stronger and become a more powerful testimony to the love that exists between Christ and his church.
To this holy end I pray that God would richly bless your life together as husband and wife!
And now may the peace of God that passes all understanding keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus unto life everlasting. Amen.
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