The Christian Father

Ephesians 5:33-6:4  I read an article this week in the New York Times entitled:  “Sexism’s Puzzling Stamina” in which the author, Frank Bruni talked about what he sees as the enduring problem of sexism in our culture.  As examples, he mentioned sexual harassment in the military and the lack of professional women’s soccer in the U.S. and how they are:

“reminders of how often women are still victimized, how potently they’re still resented and how tenaciously a musty male chauvinism endures…I somehow thought we’d be further along by now.”

Mr. Bruni is still puzzled at the end of the article as to the reason why what he identifies as sexism has such stamina.  His readers however are not puzzled.  This one comment will give you the gist of what they see as the problem: 

Too many of the wrong headed ideas about both men and women in today's world are reflected in the so-called holy books of the patriarchal religions of the world…As long as the male "leaders" hold to the literal word of their misogynistic gods as absolute truth, women will fight this battle. Beware those who would make this country Christian…Why people persist in following a book written 2,000 years ago about a band of wandering barbarians is beyond me.

            Let me be very clear:  I am one of those male leaders who interprets the Bible literally, believes it to be absolute truth, and calls God “Father” and far from seeing patriarchy as the problem in our culture-- I see it as the solution to what ails us.

So what is patriarchy?  Very simply it means the rule of fathers and the Bible teaches it from beginning to end as the proper order for home, family, marriage, and church.  Let me give you some examples…

God told Adam that he would rule over his wife Eve and to all people he said that the husband is the head of the wife and women are to respect their husbands.  Jesus chose twelve men to be his apostles to rule the church and they chose seven men to assist them as deacons and the church has chosen men to be pastors ever since Timothy and Titus.  The apostle Paul said that women are not to exercise authority over men in the church and that there was no other practice than this among the churches of God.  The Bible says that fathers are to discipline and instruct their children and children are to obey their fathers.

This is what the Bible teaches regarding the proper way to order marriage, the family, and the church and many people, like those commenting in the New York Times, reject what the Bible says because they reject the God who is the Author of these words.  The church has little to say to these folks except repent and believe the Gospel.

But there are still many, many other folks—perhaps some sitting here today—for whom the biblical teaching of patriarchy makes them more than a little bit uneasy—and the reason for that is not so much the idea of Patriarchy—but the application of it—what kind of men are going to be ruling?  All of us know examples of men who have misused this teaching and abused those who God wanted them care for and these men and their actions are beneath contempt.

The solution to our unease about patriarchy is not to abandon the clear teaching of God’s Word (that has not benefited the culture or the church) but to call men to be who they ought to be as Christians—providing for and caring for their families and churches as our heavenly Father cares for us his children—and loving our wives as Christ loves the church.  That is biblical patriarchy.

What we are going to see today as we study God’s Word is that Christian fathers are involved in the church, they love their wives sacrificially like Christ loves the church, they understand their own place in God’s order as those who are also under authority, and they are actively involved in raising their children to know and love God. 

There is nothing to fear from the rule of this kind of man and every blessing to be gained for our congregation, marriages, families, and nation when we reclaim this biblical teaching of godly, Christian patriarchy.  The Bible says:  Let each one of you love his wife and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

This lesson comes from the book of the Bible called Ephesians and it was originally a letter sent to the Christian congregation at Ephesus.  These apostolic letters that became part of sacred Scriptures were sent out one at a time and meant to be read to the whole congregation. 

In other words, the apostles’ expectation was that when these letters were read—there would be men present in worship services on the Lord’s Day to listen to what they had written and learn what kind of men God wanted them to be.  The notion that church is something only for women would have been completely lost on the apostles. 

Jesus chose men to be apostles.  The apostles chose men to be deacons.  And the church chose men to be pastors.  The modern phenomenon of a church full of only women being led by a woman who has usurped the pastoral office is completely alien to the early church and indeed the church as a whole for the first 1950 years of its 2000 year existence.  In fact…

From the beginning God gave men the responsibility for spiritual leadership.  Adam abdicated that leadership and was not present when Eve was under satanic attack and listened to her rather than taught her and the world was ruined.  God counts it all as Adam’s sin.

The exact same thing happens today in the church when men sit back rather than step up.  It’s not enough that our church still understands that men are called to be pastors.  Every man in this congregation needs to understand that God wants him to serve this place as God has gifted him.  That means that men will be present for voters’ meetings and serve on committees and teach Sunday School and attend bible class and give generously to the church.

That authority to serve and lead the church flows from the responsibility that the Christian man has to serve and lead his wife in a Christ-like way.  Leadership in the church begins with leadership in the home.  The Bible says: 

Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. 

Just a few verses earlier Paul says that the husband is not just to love his wife as he loves himself—but he is to love her as Christ loves the church who sacrificed himself for her welfare, and cares for the church which is his body.  The Christian man’s leadership in marriage, and his headship over his wife, flows from love—love that recognizes that he and his wife are one flesh—love that is exemplified in Christ’s love for us at the cross.

The Christian man is called to Christ-like leadership that begins in a heart that is filled with Christ’s love and a desire to serve those around him.  He puts his wife first; he desires what is best for her here on earth and forever in heaven; and is willing to lay down his life for her just as Christ laid down his life for us on the cross. 

Yes, God calls upon wives to respect their husbands and submit to them—but this respect of the wife for her husband begins with the husband’s Christ-like love for his wife-- for he recognizes his own place in God’s order, as one under authority.  The Bible says:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”    

            There is a biblical order for the family:  the husband is the head of the wife and children are to obey their parents.  But this biblical order for the family fits into a larger order that begins within the Holy Trinity:  God is the Father who begets the Son and the Holy Spirit proceeds from each.  Even though they share a common divinity—there is still an order within the Godhead.

            And the order that begins within the Holy Trinity-extends into the world.  Mankind is given dominion over creation.  The government serves as God’s minister.  And masters rule over their servants.  All of this is part of the fourth commandment and applies to men too for there is a whole host of people to whom we owe honor and service and love and obedience.

The rule of fathers does not make men a law unto themselves.  Far from it!  Before men are fit to lead others they must first understand that in their providing and protecting and teaching and ruling they are taking their position under God and are responsible to him for the exercise of their authority—especially when it involves their children—who belong to God, first. 

That is why the Bible says that fathers are not to provoke their children.  In other words, their rule over their children must be done in a way that recognizes that their children are God’s children first and their rule over them must be like his—gentle and firm and kind and wise.  God intends that children learn about their heavenly Father by the way they are treated by their earthly father.  And in this way fathers can begin to teach them the things of God. 

The Bible says that fathers are to bring their children up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” and so it is the father’s responsibility to see that his home is a Christian home; that his children are brought to Holy Baptism; that they are taught the stories of the Bible and how to say their prayers; that worship on the Lord’s Day is expected.  Studies show that it is the father’s example of faith that has the strongest influence on his children’s life of faith.

The Bible teaches patriarchy—the rule of fathers—but that teaching has nothing to do with the way the world understands what it means to rule.  Instead, the Christian father finds his example in that of his heavenly Father who lovingly provides for and protects his family and the example of Jesus Christ who lays down his life to serve those he loves.  When Christian fathers are active in their church and love their wives and raise their children as Christians they are a blessing to those they lead in the home, family, congregation, and nation.  May God grant us an increase of this kind of man who understands his calling as a husband and father!  Amen.